Why Is My Child Violent and How Can I Fix It?


It can be an alarming situation when your child begins to take a more aggressive and destructive approach to life. Kids do get rowdy but anything too rough can be a cause for concern. This doesn’t just involve aggression towards people, but things too. If you find your child hitting others, breaking things, showing explosive anger, it’s time to look into it.

There are a number of reasons why your child could be looking to violence to express herself so it’s important to get to the bottom of it in order to successfully curb the aggression. What is making your child upset or angry?

Often, children act out in response to a traumatic situation. This could involve bullying, physical or sexual abuse, the death of a family member or classmate, parents being abusive towards each other, etc.

Other things that can cause your child to express herself in an unhealthy manner include parental neglect, low self-esteem, trouble with school work, etc.

The best way to find out what the root issue is, is to ask your child gentle probing questions. Don’t be pushy or make her think you are upset with her. Be friendly and calm. Whatever the reason might be, it’s crucial to find out what it is and do your best to resolve it in a healthy way. This is the first step to sorting out violent behavior.

The next thing you can do is to communicate with your child about feelings. How does aggressive behavior make your child feel? And how does the person towards whom aggression is directed at, feel? Reinforce that hurting people is bad and that it hurts others.

Something that you undeniably need to steer clear of is hitting your child to prevent violence. This will just confuse your child. Why is it okay for you to hit but not for her? Also remember that children tend to imitate what they see. So this will just cause a rise in aggressive behavior rather than put a stop to it.


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