10 Thoughts Every New Mom Has
- How can something so small make this much poop in one day?!
I JUST changed you?!
- After all that I’ve gone through, his first words better be “thank you mama!” or else!
Just for those labor pains alone I should get a medal and a fully paid vacation!
- Is there a snooze button on this baby thing?
Just 5 more minutes please.
- No that does not go in your mouth
For the millionth time today.
- There are more baby clothes to wash than hair on my head.
And I’m losing both just as fast!
- Going out? What’s that?
I can’t remember what air that doesn’t smell like baby powder feels like.
- How is this not a paid job?
It’s not even 9-5! It’s 24/7/365 and I am severely underpaid!
- Superman? What about supermom?
You’re telling me changing diapers 10 times day, feeding, cleaning, cooking, and being sleep deprived all at the same time aren’t super-human qualities?
- Instead of baby gifts, can you watch my baby for 2 hours so I can get some sleep?
What good is this onesie going to do me? Put your money where your mouth is!
- If you touch my baby without washing your hands, there will be hell to pay.
WASH YOUR HANDS. IT’S THE POLITE THING TO DO. AND IT TAKES 5 SECONDS.