10 Thoughts Every New Mom Has

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  1. How can something so small make this much poop in one day?!

I JUST changed you?!

  1. After all that I’ve gone through, his first words better be “thank you mama!” or else!

Just for those labor pains alone I should get a medal and a fully paid vacation!

  1. Is there a snooze button on this baby thing?

Just 5 more minutes please.

  1. No that does not go in your mouth

For the millionth time today.

  1. There are more baby clothes to wash than hair on my head.

And I’m losing both just as fast!

  1. Going out? What’s that?

I can’t remember what air that doesn’t smell like baby powder feels like.

  1. How is this not a paid job?

It’s not even 9-5! It’s 24/7/365 and I am severely underpaid!

  1. Superman? What about supermom?

You’re telling me changing diapers 10 times day, feeding, cleaning, cooking, and being sleep deprived all at the same time aren’t super-human qualities?

  1. Instead of baby gifts, can you watch my baby for 2 hours so I can get some sleep?

What good is this onesie going to do me? Put your money where your mouth is!

  1. If you touch my baby without washing your hands, there will be hell to pay.

WASH YOUR HANDS. IT’S THE POLITE THING TO DO. AND IT TAKES 5 SECONDS.

 

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